Page 9 – Don’t Leave Me!
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Okay I have to defer the meat of this article to tomorrow, as it’s rather late, but let’s just say that we’re really cooking now! A couple bits, though, just to keep it in perspective.
First, special thanks to Hilvon for the Russian interpretations on this page. This go-round I am trying, with his help, getting the language correct the first time through. Second, I have moved entirely to hand-lettering, and I’m really happy with the freedom it gives me, so I’m sticking with it. It also makes the Cyrillic look a lot better than when I was using a derivative of the Mistral typeface. So, double score! The Russians here are actually saying real things. You Russian-speakers out there will know, hopefully, what’s going on, but don’t wreck it for the the non-Russophones, okay? Just keep it between us, for now! Unless there’s a mistake I’ve made – please DO tell me that!
Also, I’m aware that panel one has no background. That’s deliberate. It’s meant to be indicative of a sudden shock and pain that blocks out all else from one’s experience. And for anyone who hasn’t experienced such a thing, believe me, it feels a lot like this. About two years ago I had pneumonia, which caused a tear in my abdominal cavity. And let me tell you, it hurt like hell, and a thing like that basically takes over your entire perceptive capacities. So that’s how I depicted it.
Anyhow, I guess I don’t need to update later after all, as that was pretty comprehensive. Anyhow, that does it for now. If I think of anything else, I’ll add it later. But until then, all the best for another week, folks! And oh! Thanks for the votes on TWC! Once again, let me reiterate that it’s really silly and meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but it helps publicity to be higher up, so please help me get there and vote every day!
Thanks again, and be well, folks.
I don’t like her face in panel two. Something about it screws with the perspective, makes it look like a mask.
I also think that you could have been further away in panel three. You are close enough that I thought that Milo had actually abandoned her and you were looking back past him while he was running away. I didn’t realize what was going on until I noticed the greyscale and looked back over the page, although it may work better when reading in sequence.
Also, real Russian! (better than Ironman 2 managed to do!)
Their masks are very scary, although I wonder what the effect would be if you could see their eyes through the mask. Less impersonal, you could see emotion and fear on their faces.
I’m not too worried about panel 2 for now. As I’ve often said, I file all this away for later. Part of doing this comic for me has been learning to accept the ups and downs of the process of producing on a set schedule. I agree that it isn’t exactly on target – something in the eyes, I think – but I’m okay with it for the time being.
And as to panel 3, the impression you got was exactly what I was going for – the feeling that Milo HAD abandoned her, which is what she thinks she’s perceiving. So although you may not personally like the “feel” (which I can get, from your perspective) it did, after all, hit the note I was going for. The thing with the color was meant mainly to be perceptible in contrast with the last two panels, as well, to point up that fact, in the narrative sense.
And finally, I have some sketches from early on where the Federate medics’ faces are visible (early mask designs) but it wrecked some later scenes and failed to draw the proper contrasts, so I went with a more sinister look, which I’m glad is having the right effect. The basis for the design is the Soviet-era L-1 Chemical Suit, though I left out the “overcoat” lead poncho, which made it go a little too far past creepy into the genuinely nightmarish. And as I said, I resisted the more cinematic inclination to show their faces, as would happen on TV, in favor of drawing the proper contrast.
As ever, thanks for the comments and input!
–M
Hm… I never thought of Soviet radiation suits as something creepy or nightmarish. Really. Furthermore – after a friend of mine told in detail how it feels inside one of those I really started to think of them as… helplessly encumbering.
Especially if you keep the “poncho”, you’re almost unable to use a weapon. Not effectively at least.
Probably that fear of Soviet suits have something to do with cold war, though…
Frankly, I think that, regardless of nationality, any kind of suit like that makes a person look creepy. The fact that it basically nullifies identity, for starters, is really wierd. And the L-1 suit in particular, with the poncho or “overcoat” added, gives the effect of a plague doctor, which is one of the scariest-looking things I’ve ever seen. I don’t think of it as a Cold War thing, but I can imagine that being treated by doctors in the field, dressed strangely and speaking a foreign language, when one is already traumatized, burned and irradiated, would be scary in itself. Add to that the knowledge that they are your enemies, and you’d be seriously freaked out. I can imagine a Soviet in the same position feeling the same way, for the same reasons.
–M
This is a really heavy psychological page man! The gray tones, the wide panel 3 that seems wider because it is relatively short and then the close-up of the scary Rusians all suited up! Really nicely done!
Thanks, Joost! It was a hard decision to make as to how exactly to wrap up the first part of the chapter, which is basically a layered bit of mental confusion, the way I wrote it. I think it worked out pretty well.
–M
I actually agree with the use of backgroundless panels for effect, but I don’t think that the light gray is suitable here. It provides little contrast with the foreground, and feels disjointed from the rest of the scene. Personally, I would have gone with an off-black, probably dark maroon.
PS I just read your whole archives, and I love you comic! Keep it up!
You know I considered that. And I might actually give it a go. I had intended that it follow the greys in the other panels; the grey-tone background is a visual theme that indicates places where Sarah’s physical experience is getting confused with her mental one. In the first few pages it’s more obvious, but here it’s more suggestive, so what you suggest could be a good idea. Unlike a lot of other artists I’m constantly editing and reconsidering my work, and though I always strive to post the best that I can every week I think it’s the poor artist who can’t always find something to reconsider. And of course, when I finally get to trying to print this, it will all be edited, remastered and pored over in the kind of extreme scrutinizing detail that a weekly schedule doesn’t allow a full time builder to take on.
I’m really glad you’re enjoying the story so far, though. Welcome! I hope to hear more from you around the site in the future.
–M
I have an idea. What if there was a gradient in the gray, so as you got further back in the background it got darker, fading to black. Make it look like Sarah is being overtaken by a black abyss. Right now you can see the edge of where she can see, and you can see how she is surrounded by smoke. It look concrete and nonthreatening. Make the background approach the horizon and fade to black simultaneously, so it looks like she is absolutely alone in the dark.