I can’t decide whether I like this page or not.
As has been the case a couple of times so far, this page was pretty much a struggle from start to finish. And although it’s generally successful, in that it’s what I planned to have happen here, I still feel somehow ambivalent about it. Primarily, in the end, I couldn’t decide whether it was better with or without the dialogue, since the dialogue was just the SMERSH man talking in Russian, and was a foil to the actual action, that of Maj. Bronniford making her move. Erring on the side of “less is more,” I went with the simpler setup. I’m not sure it works. Maybe by tomorrow morning I’ll have changed my mind, and I’ll change it. But for now, I’m letting it stand.
Oh, man, there are a lot of hands on this page. Hands are HARD to draw, I’m here to tell you. And the different gestures. Anyhow. Yes, this page was not at all easy, and in a sense I’m glad it’s over.
Incidentally, though, to the various comic artists who read this, I’d be very interested to know if you’ve ever run up against this kind of thing, where a page just never seems to “happen,” and ends up being nothing but struggle and compromise. I can’t be the only one.
Yeah, well, great self-promotion, here, huh? For publicity purposes, I have nothing but total confidence in my work and everything I do is fantastic. But in reality… Ah, well. The artist is his own worst critic.
By the bye, readership has nearly TRIPLED in the last two weeks, and I couldn’t be happier! TO all the new and returning readers, I can’t thank you enough – your support (and votes, and reviews, and kind comments and encouragements!) have been really great! And the consistent support of fellow-artists like Joost, Arioch, Jason, et al, who’ve helped me out with this story artistically and structurally from the start, I owe you a great deal of gratitude as well. So thank you, too!
And now, I rest. To dream of the next page, and hope that it won’t be as much of a Sisyphean labor as this one was!
Be well, folks!
I like it how everyone in the bottom half of the page has a stunned looked and are pointing, presumably at Mike One Echo. I also like the lack of text, although I can’t quite put my finger on why. Perhaps it has something to do with it enhancing the somewhat comedic effect of the bottom row, but I’m not entirely sure.
I wasn’t exactly going for comedic, but I see what you mean – and to be honest, after a good night’s sleep, I changed my mind and decided that I do like this page. I think that it makes for a good break and refocusses on the huamns after several pages of high-tech.
Thanks for the encouragement!
–M
I like seeing someone in silence, despite all the action, you leave it up to the reader to figure on what is said, what isn’t. I’d say you did a great job of telling without a single word needed with the paired action you show in this.
I know what they’re all saying: “Holy s***, is that guy still rolling? That guy’s still rolling! How is he still rolling? What should we do because he’s still–”
Pilot at lower left corner of page: “We get the idea! Just drop another bomb on it already!”
And I agree: it’s a nicely executed modd tatic. Keep it up author guy!
In the final analysis, I agree. Dialogue would have mucked up the action too much, so I’m glad I left it out. And I am glad that the whole thing comes across – you guys got the idea exactly, and I’m glad of that.
–M
Another opportunity to bang out a heavy quote.
“I AM BOOLLEETTT PROOOOOF! AAAAAHHHH!”
Mike is a really tough customer. Heck, if you’re going to spend 2 billion dollars developing a superheavy robotic tank, having it taken out by a mere cruise missile would be embarrassing!
–M
Yeah, wow that is a lot of hands. I have to say that as I looked at each panel, none stood out like a sore thumb, which is usually the case when one just looks wrong. So it looks like a definite success to me on that front. Now as far as pages that never feel quite right, I have plenty of those too. I’ve had the luxury of not posting my pages for years so some of them kept changing every time I opened the file. A few of them have been completely scrapped too. It’s a strange thing because for me, a page is finished when it feels right, and putting your finger on what makes a page feel right is impossible.
This looks great though, and it think it’s a good move to keep it without dialogue too. It makes you focus on what’s happening on each panel instead of looking to the text and then skimming the art.
I appreciate the assessment, Jason, and in the end, a couple of days’ perspective kind of made me come to grips with the page. The fifth, sixth and eighth panels I think are the strongest, graphically. The seventh and eighth, specifically, are intended to mirror Colonel Haulley on pages 18 and 15, respectively, and I think it worked out. At the time, I was thinking it ought to be “more dramatic,” whatever that means, but really I think it worked pretty well, and it was probably fatigue talking more than anything else.
And the textless action was something I had advised Joost to do in his comic several times, and I think that a “less-is-more” approach can be pretty effective in this kind of situation.
You bring up an interesting point about having to scrap pages, too, though – a certain willingness to start over completely is necessary, I think. I can sometimes get too committed to a single design or train of thought that isn’t working. But in this case, at the end of the day, it was the train of thought, not the design, that wasn’t working, so I scrapped that and kept the page!
Thansk again for the comment!
–M
Panel 4 “What do you mean he’s STILL moving?!”
Panel 5 “He’s STILL moving?!”
Panel 6 “Run that way!!”
As for your skill at drawing hands ..well done…I APPLAUD you. 😉
Bingo. So the page DID work in the end. Although, as you’ll see on the next page, it’s “Get over here, NOW!” not “Run that way!” Not to spoil, of course.
And thanks for the compliment, hand-wise. They are really tough and yet always seem to be the most important part of a scene. More important than faces, sometimes.
–M
I think the page went fine. I got the whole OMG! Holy shit! Its still coming! We are TOTALLY SCREWED! Feeling from the bottom panels. Major Bronniford’s actions needed no words.
Thanks! In the end, it was the overall emotional impact of the page that was more important than the specifics of each part, and I think I was being overly-self-critical because it was late and I was tired. I think that the parts I like the best are the panel four and five transition (I wanted the reader to really “feel” the choke hold on the poor Russian guy), and the bottom progression, which you have picked up on as being basically a big tension-builder. So it worked, and I’m glad! Sometimes I can get so close to a thing like this that I lose perspective – the advantage of a web comic format is that you (ideally) get a lot more eyes on it than just your own, and things that might drive me nuts turn out to be effectively irrelevant.
So thanks for the comment, and the encouragement!
–M
Wow that in a well placed choke that Major Sarah Bronniford has placed on that poor guy. That’ll knock him out for a few hours or worst. Its nice to see a webcomic that actually has REAL combat instead of lots of out of this world stuff like in hollywood.
Keep it up.
Drawn right out of a U.S. Army Unarmed Combat manual from World War II. The arm ans shoulder placement was a bit tought to get – but she got a pretty effective hold, there. Not shown: her right knee in the small of his back, to throw his balance off and keep him from getting a footing for a throw. Now I have to read up on how to break a sleeper for his next scene… assuming he even can!
–M
I like the fact you got the cockpit interior just the right shade of Russian blue-green!
You noticed! It was remarkably hard to find proper photos of the insides of a Backfire bomber cockpit. And I was surprised that they DO use that odd matte blue-green on everything. But it gave me the chance to make them look distinctly different from the UNA, even though layout-wise it’s somewhat the same (cockpits, helmets, air masks, bunkers with computer screens).
–M
This page really gives out a “silence before the storm” vibe, you just feel that the face to face confrontation with Mike that is coming up in the next pages is going to be a heavy one! I love it!
I can understand that as an artist you have mixed feelings about this page, this is one of those pages you need to lead the story towards a big event, but because of that there’s a lot to tell and there are no “masterpiece elements” in it like halfpage drawings of Mike or an overview of the warzone. What I want to say is that this page does what it is supposed to do, lead you further into the story and it does so perfectly.
Great page!
A very good point, Joost. If EVERY page is super-complex, it ends up being like a movie where every scene is a chase or a shootout – you get desensitized. And in this sense, the page is actually pretty effective. It builds the tension the way I wanted, and helps set up the finale of the chapter, which is in its last six pages now.
I think really I just needed some perspective. It’s a fine line between self-criticism and fishing for praise, and I don’t ever like to come off as doing the latter. But then, they do say you are your own worst critic. So thanks!
–M
Being critical of your own work is essential to improving. Being too obsessed with how “poor” it is will only prevent you from trying. There comes a point where getting the work on time is more important than getting it perfect. That is the cost of working on a set schedule and is something that any pro (or self publishing semi pro) must manage.
You’re doing fine.
Point well taken. It’s always a fine line, of course, and when being critical it should be in a clear and level-headed way. But I also think it’s something a lot of people in creative professions go through – you can get so close to a project that you lose sight of the big picture.
–M